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Junkmail for Jesus

July 2, 2009

A short posting for all my friends…

I took a break from the writing desk a few minutes ago to walk outside and check the mail… I know, I know. Poor me. I work so hard.  Boo hoo. I never quite know what to expect when I unlock the box; mostly I expect bills and rejections from the various magazines I send my stories in blitzkrieg fashion. I am not normally disappointed in this regard.

Today, however, the box was empty… except for one piece of junkmail.

Now, I’m apathetic, as are most people, to junk mail. Sometimes the coupons can be useful; I even enjoy working the little crossword puzzle that comes every Wednesday in the Smart Shopper.  (If somebody more brilliant than me could explain why the words “oner” and “elan” seem to be favorites of crossword editors, I’d be most appreciative.) But today, was a first.

I got junkmail from Jesus.

Now, before you think me mad, I have photo proof:

cover   

 

 

                                                   

 

back

 

inside

Apparently some gackle of apocalpytic geese is planning on landing here in desert and offering a FREE seminar to people who want to understand why they need to behave like Chicken Little. I will say that, at least, they’re handing out bibles (along with an reading guide and DVD, so no one gets confused.) I  don’t know how the Gideons will feel about this, but the bible beating business isn’t copyrighted… unless you cross Pat Robertson. Then again, he won’t sue you…. he’ll just call for your assassination on Jesus TV. That, on the whole, is WAY more spiritual than a lawsuit.

I’ve gotten all kinds of tracts and readers; I used to have a collection of those pocket sized Chick Publication pamphlets that appeal to people by turning religous text in to a short comic. Here’s one that’s too good to pass up, because not ONLY is it slightly humorous… it’s also multi-cultural (the website says it has been adapted for black audiences… how nice.)

I'm DEAD!

I'm DEAD!

I’ve even gotten a few Watchtower Magazines before… they’re cartoony in the way those old VBS and Sunday School lesson books were, where everyone looks like they just stepped out of the movie Pleasantville. I once got a book off a Hari Krishna that he was willing to “freely give me” for a donation of $5. ( I gave him $2. I was on my way to the bar.)
But to get a full color slick ad as JUNK MAIL?  This is not only a first; this is also interestingly appropriate.
Anyway, just wanted to share. Because I care.  Amen.
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